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Day 53: One of the hardest things about this journey so far has been acknowledging the need for help ...

Dec 6, 2019

Day 53: One of the hardest things about this journey so far has been acknowledging the need for help. Sometimes help means having to put yourself first and accepting that things are out of your control. Going back to work this week was a challenge, but unfortunately not every challenge is manageable on our own. I have decided to put my health first and continue on with my leave of absence. When I return to work for good, I want to be the best version of myself. Regardless of when that happens, I am forever grateful for the support I continue to receive. The outpouring of love as I left work today truly touched my heart. I am so lucky to have so many amazing people walking alongside me. The journey continues ❤️ #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery

You don’t have to believe (or engage with) everything you think. ...

Dec 6, 2019

You don’t have to believe (or engage with) everything you think.

🎨Artist/Credit @nicholasfrederickson 
I am excited about the direction my life is heading. I

Dec 6, 2019

🎨Artist/Credit nicholasfrederickson I am excited about the direction my life is heading. I'm beginning to see the proverbial, "light at the end of the tunnel." This is my season of healing, reinvention, and transformation. I am coming out of isolation and reconnecting with my world and the those who are in it. Please 🐻 with this introvert as she steps out of the darkness. #anxiety #anxietywarrior #anxious #bodypositive #bodypositivity #bopo #depressionrecovery #edrecovery #effyourbeautystandards #instagood #loveyourself #mentalhealthawareness #mentalwellness #ptsd #quotes #selfcare #selflove #wellnessjourney #wordsofwisdom

#Repost @bodyimage_therapist
• • • • •
The desire to lose weight often comes from a desire ...

Dec 6, 2019

#Repost bodyimage_therapist • • • • • The desire to lose weight often comes from a desire to be treated better and to feel better. There's nothing wrong with wanting this - for your experience to be more peaceful and joyful sounds like a pretty good intention to me! Weight loss is often marketed, especially for people in larger bodies, as the solution to problems - emotional, physical, social and even economic, but when it comes to the effectiveness of weight loss, the success rate for sustained weight loss after 5 years is less than 5% and that's being generous. This is not a failing of the person, it's that diets don't work, they aren't a match for our biology and psychology. . . Internalised fat phobia is a psychological issue that isn't widely spoken about. If you're in a body that is viewed as plus size, fat, or larger, the stereotypes about these body sizes may be believed about the self, even if they're objectively false. Internalised fat phobia can change the way you view yourself, places your body in a state of chronic stress, contributes to depression, anxiety, body shame, poor body image, low self worth, disordered eating, chronic dieting, low self-esteem and self efficacy...and this list of impacts continues to emerge in research. . . If you're wanting to focus on your health and you think you have internalised fat phobia, do the inner work, instead of trying to physically change your body - especially if that's all you've tried to do for decades! From there you can then make decisions about your physical body that actually comes from you, and not the internalised fat phobia. . . #bodyimage #healthateverysize #haes #haesig #dietculture #edrecovery #bodypositvity #intuitiveeating #dietitian #mentalhealth

Terrible lighting but we finally got ourselves a freshly cut tree! 🎄 •

On a less festive note  ...

Dec 6, 2019

Terrible lighting but we finally got ourselves a freshly cut tree! 🎄 • On a less festive note I saw my dietician today, and decided to take a break from seeing her. I’m just not fully committed to recovery right now. I’m focusing on coping as best I can. This does NOT mean I’m giving up. I’m just taking some time to breathe. • • • • • • • • • #christmas #christmastree #christmasdecor #light #lights #ed #edrecovery #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #anarecovery #ana #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #life #choices #battle #warrior #foodisfuel #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mental #breathe #festive #star #trying

He keeps my world going round 💚🌎💙 ...

Dec 6, 2019

He keeps my world going round 💚🌎💙

@wholefoods  has so many sales this week! I saved $40 on my grocery haul, including some comfy new h ...

Dec 6, 2019

wholefoods has so many sales this week! I saved $40 on my grocery haul, including some comfy new house slippers for Larry and I. Picked up ready made falafel, threw them in the airfryer to crisp them up and made sandwiches on toasted baguette with mayo, red pepper hummus, cukes, red onion, & tahini 🙌🏽. . . These veggie broth bullion are my fave and inexpensive. I finally found some nutritional yeast, I'm looking forward to giving it a try. . . I like having unsweetened almond milk for cooking savory dishes. I'll use the vanilla almond milk to make oatmeal. It's time to find dairy-free ice cream. I've heard good things about so_delicious, seems like a good place to start! Also, this vegan Chao cheese made is the truth. . . Allllllll the veggies & pasture eggs. It's citrus season! I picked up some red chard, I'm excited to cook with it. It's going to be another delicious week. . . #foodfreedom #foodie #wholefoods #eatgoodfeelgood #eatrealfood #eatplants #eattherainbow #plantprotein #edrecovery #dietculturedropout #fuckitdiet

TW: sexual assault. Hey beautiful people!! I apologize for not updating very much. I haven’t been  ...

Dec 6, 2019

TW: sexual assault. Hey beautiful people!! I apologize for not updating very much. I haven’t been in a great headspace when it comes to eating and I really didn’t want to trigger anyone/was caught up in grad school applications. Anyways, I’m committed to getting back into taking care of my body and mind and was wondering if anyone has any experience with “trauma psychotherapy”?? If so, if you would be willing to comment or DM me about it that would be amazing. My ED therapist referred me to a therapist that specializes in trauma because I have never processed everything that happened surrounding my boyfriend sexually assaulting me in my own bedroom and then living in that bedroom with him as my next door neighbor the past two years. I basically didn’t talk about anything that happened (except surface level with a few people) for over a year after the assault and my therapist has noticed that a lot of my psychiatric problems are related to this event and then getting manipulated into believing it was my fault and taking the blame by my sociopathic ex (like actual sociopath, he has told people he doesn’t feel empathy which makes sense with what he put me thru). I’m going to be starting this “trauma psychotherapy” in about a week and I’m nervous. My therapist was warning me that it was going to be very difficult and might be super triggering for my ED and PTSD and depression etc. and now I’m nervous, but I also know that I NEED to weigh the benefits and realize it’s good for me. Any advice or experiences?? Otherwise I hope everyone is doing well and I believe in you in overcoming whatever mental demons you are battling. Much love 💕 #edrecovery #bulimiarecovery #anorexianervosarecovery #traumarecovery #traumasurvivor #trauma #assaultsurvivor #recovery #traumahealing #traumatherapy #traumatherapist

Exercise in recovery...
What’s my opinion on it: honestly I think it depends. First of all I want  ...

Dec 6, 2019

Exercise in recovery... What’s my opinion on it: honestly I think it depends. First of all I want to say that in my situation I did not exercise for the whole weight restoration process and a few weeks after! But i don’t believe that to be a general rule! It totally depends! Disclaimer: if your health care providers recommend not working out than you should 100% obey their suggestions. Ultimately the goal is to get you to a mentally and physically stable place and not working out is 9 times out of 10 the best way to do this! So when do I think it’s okay? That’s definitely situational. I would say that if you’re a high level athlete and training under supervision (set hours, workouts, and in team environment) than you might be okay! Also a light yoga class or walk here and there might be beneficial for your mental health! But here are my caveats 1. If you struggle with an exercise addiction you should not work out! A big part of recovery is overcoming this addiction and to do that you have to stop! There’s no other way 2. If you are medically unstable you need to rest your body! The stress that a workout will put on you is too much, you won’t be able to recover adequately and are ultimately digging yourself a deeper hole! 3. If the idea of a rest day gives you anxiety, don’t do it! Challenge those thoughts and get past it because again, this mindset is ED related and doesn’t get along very well with recovery 4. If you’re working out for the purpose of a physique! A huge part of recovery is learning to live with and eventually accept your body in a healthy state. It’s probably the hardest part, but if you’re spending the whole process fighting your body you’re most likely not making the progress you think you are! Again, this is my opinions and based of my personal experiences but I thought I’d share because I get a lot of questions! I hope this was helpful and remember: the gym will always be there waiting for you when you’re healthy and able! It’s okay to take time to rest and heal 🌱

🌸Dinner🌸 •

This tasted absolutely lush! Today I tried something new for dinner and made a s ...

Dec 6, 2019

🌸Dinner🌸 • This tasted absolutely lush! Today I tried something new for dinner and made a sushi/rice bowl. Unfortunately, I piled on so many toppings that you can't see the rice underneath 😅 I feel greedy stacking food so high but I shouldn't feel any shame in needing more food so I'm going to ignore those thoughts! • Details: Rice, broccoli, firm tofu, red onion, cucumber, garlic, sesame oil (HUGE fear), sauce ( guyfieri BBQ sauce, soy sauce, rice vinegar, salt, and even more sesame oil) • Update: Smashed a slice of pumpkin pie after! 🍰💪 • #recovery #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #eatingdisorderawareness #edfighter #edwarrior #anorexianervosarecovery #anorexiafighter #whatieat #fearfood #bingeeating #bingeeatingrecovery #ednosrecovery #orthorexia #fooddiary #orthorexiarecovery #recoverywin

~ 12.5.19 ~ ⠀
⠀
Honestly, I didn

Dec 6, 2019

~ 12.5.19 ~ ⠀ ⠀ Honestly, I didn't want to eat today. Ed had been planning since last night for me to restrict and being in such a low mood, I was heavily inclined to cave in. But after making an americano and scrolling through my insta feed, inspiration from you guys flooded my senses and made me get something! I'm very grateful to y'all for that 🥺💕⠀ ⠀ In light of doing the opposite of what Ed wants, ramen was today's dinner 😳 It was a childhood favorite of mine and my siblings (sometimes we wouldn't even cook it, just sprinkle the seasoning packet on top and eat it 😂) ⠀ ⠀ Knowing that just the noodles and broth wouldn't keep me full for long, I added some personal favorite toppings. It was hard... that gross, heavy feeling came pretty soon after but regardless it was finished 😄⠀ ⠀ Meals:⠀ ⠀ scrambled eggs and croissant⠀ ⠀ quest bar⠀ ⠀ english muffin w salmon and a hard-boiled egg⠀ ⠀ ramen!!! w a soft-boiled egg, green onion, and bamboo shoots⠀ ⠀ greek yogurt and an apple

For me recovery is not linear ❤️ Yes I am in recovery. Because somedays are hard. Sometime it’ ...

Dec 6, 2019

For me recovery is not linear ❤️ Yes I am in recovery. Because somedays are hard. Sometime it’s one day, one hour at a time. Today may have been hard but I’m still choosing to be here tomorrow. Tomorrow doesn’t have to follow in today’s footstep. A fresh start can happen at any moment of any day. One day at a time 🙏 #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #onestepatatime #12steps #dailyinspiration #recovery #happiness #selfcare #loveyourself #myjourney #inspiration #eatingdisorderecovery #happiness #onedayatatime #oneday

#Repost @healingcrayons
• • • • •
Food guilt caused me to restrict, obsess and binge on re ...

Dec 6, 2019

#Repost healingcrayons • • • • • Food guilt caused me to restrict, obsess and binge on repeat. It was the cornerstone of my tortured relationship with food. I can’t truly *nourish* myself when I’m making food choices from a place of fear. HFCS, hydrogenated oils and MSG: you got nothin’ on guilt! #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #antidiet #allbodiesaregoodbodies #haes #bodypositive #allfoodsfit #intuitiveeating #selfcare #selfacceptance #nourish

Food shaming isn’t actually about food because food has no emotion.  Food shaming is about the per ...

Dec 6, 2019

Food shaming isn’t actually about food because food has no emotion. Food shaming is about the person left feeling guilty, ashamed and broken because of her food choices and food relationship. . Food shaming takes place in the grocery store when the labels trick you into buying the “antibiotic free” chicken. Food shaming takes place in the school when a child is told he needs to bring healthier snacks. Food shaming takes place on social media when “toxic sugar” posts are shared. Food shaming takes place in fitness when you’re urged to work off the food you ate. Food shaming takes place at home in the dark when a woman blames herself for being so bad. . It is NEVER about the food. It is about the person with the confused relationship about food. The woman that gets the judgmental stare because she didn’t buy the “good” chicken. The single mom that can only afford to send a Lunchable to school because they were on clearance. The woman afraid of cookies because the sugar is going to kill her. The woman addicted to exercise because she is afraid of gaining weight after eating. The young girl sliding deeper into her eating disorder because the “best” way to lose weight is to only eat clean. . I urge you to open your ears, eyes and heart to these messages. To understand how it feels to be in the shoes of any one of these types of women (and so many more). Understand that when i share these things I am coming from a place of love, support & unconditional hope that we will move from these “normal” behaviors. . How have YOU felt food shamed in your life?

Eat them 😂
#Repost @kenziebrenna
• • • • •
since it’s december, i thought we all need ...

Dec 6, 2019

Eat them 😂 #Repost kenziebrenna • • • • • since it’s december, i thought we all needed this reminder! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ please note that i am the original poster of this quote, it’s been remade many times in the last few years, please ask others to properly credit 💕💞💓💗💖💘💝 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ and please take these rules seriously, they work for me every christmas 😛 #mentalhealth #holidayseason #christmastime🎄

Mount Auburn has no strawberries, which made me realize that I really actually love them, so here’ ...

Dec 6, 2019

Mount Auburn has no strawberries, which made me realize that I really actually love them, so here’s a trilogy of strawberries for ya... ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ ⋆ #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalillness #mentalillnessrecovery #recovery #edrecovery #anorexiarecovery #depression #anxiety #anorexianervosa #anorexia #healthyeating #healthyfood #nourish #nourishtoflourish #eatittobeatit #eatingdisorderawareness #neda #coconutbowls #smoothiebowl #nicecream #strawberries #proteinhouse #proteinpancakes

It is impossible to be strong all the time. But lack of strength does not mean weakness. It is not a ...

Dec 6, 2019

It is impossible to be strong all the time. But lack of strength does not mean weakness. It is not an all or nothing kind of thing. Sometimes you get hurt. Sometimes you just don’t feel like smiling. That’s okay. You don’t have to smile and laugh all the time. It is impossible to be happy all the time and honestly unhealthy. If you never go through pain or sadness, you will never appreciate happiness. Living in recovery is really tough. You are allowed to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. You are allowed to have a weak moment, but you cannot let it run the rest of your life. You are strong enough to move on. #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #recoverywarriors #recovery #recoveryispossible #youcandoit #edawareness #eatingdisorderawareness #eatingdisordersupport #disorderedeating #disorderedeatingrecovery #disorderedeatingawareness #disorderedeatinghabits #mentalhealth #mentalhealthsupport #mentalillness #mentalillnessawareness #mentalillnessrecovery

Tea, candles, and The Body Image Workbook. 2020 is going to be a big year and I won’t allow my neg ...

Dec 6, 2019

Tea, candles, and The Body Image Workbook. 2020 is going to be a big year and I won’t allow my negativity around my bigger body to hold me back.

In the process of trying to conform to society’s ideal, we become a stranger to ourself. We cut of ...

Dec 6, 2019

In the process of trying to conform to society’s ideal, we become a stranger to ourself. We cut off any trait or desire that does not align with the nonexistent “norm”. We become more and more fragmented. 💭 💭 💭 We don’t know ourselves, and therefore cannot affirm ourselves, so the best we hope for is the affirmation of others. We spend our lives chasing this, instead of nurturing ourselves. However many compliments, however much attention we receive, is never enough. The supply- the need- is a black hole. It is a distraction from ourselves. 💭 💭 💭 Any validation we receive comes with a sense of unease. Because we know are not being accepted for who we are. We are being accepted for the mask we present.

Advent calendar food challenge Day 6: complete!
Fruit salad with full fat yoghurt and Reese’s Piec ...

Dec 6, 2019

Advent calendar food challenge Day 6: complete! Fruit salad with full fat yoghurt and Reese’s Pieces. Will attempt more Reese’s products later as I also purchased some sticks and some White cups! Fruit salad gets a 9/10. Was fresh, tasty and the yoghurt added a pleasant creamy tartness. Reese’s Pieces score a 7.5/10. They were a bit like Peanut M&M’s but without the satisfying crunch. 😜 #reeses #reesespieces #fruitsalad #foodchallenge #food #foodporn #eatingdisorders #anxiety #anorexia #ana #ednos #hungry #challenge #nomnom #ed #orthorexia #recoverybody #edrecovery #edrecover #awareness #edawareness #fearfood #feelthefearanddoitanyway #acceptance #healing #nevergiveup #christmas #advent #eatingdisorder #winning

The “f__k it” effect. 
What it is (it has to do with food)

Why you do it. 
How to stop it! (And ...

Dec 6, 2019

The “f__k it” effect. What it is (it has to do with food) Why you do it. How to stop it! (And why you should join Nourish Your Body With Love - bodylovehq.com Doors close Monday!!)

Today I was volunteering at the christmas party for one of the charities I volunteer with. It was so ...

Dec 6, 2019

Today I was volunteering at the christmas party for one of the charities I volunteer with. It was so lovely. I just can't shake this horrible feeling in my gut. I want to be so self destructive. I want to go off the rails and go crazy. I want to stop eating, stay out all night looking for trouble, hurt myself, put myself in dangerous situations. I'm scared. I don't know how to stop it. #mentalhealth #mentalillness #majordepressivedisorder #mdd #bpd #anxiety #mentallyill #depression #tw #depressed #edrecovery #diary

I fully acknowledge that my feed makes it look like I only eat breakfast foods but in my defence bre ...

Dec 6, 2019

I fully acknowledge that my feed makes it look like I only eat breakfast foods but in my defence breakfast > every other meal 🤷🏻‍♀️. Also it’s finals week(s) so all I want to eat is peanut butter on some sort of carb vessel and that’s 100% fine by me.

I spend so much of my mental energy helping others, emotionally supporting them thorough the good, b ...

Dec 6, 2019

I spend so much of my mental energy helping others, emotionally supporting them thorough the good, bad, and ugly that I forget to care about myself or feel neglected because those around me don’t ask how I am. I have all kinds of positive, uplifting things in my office, in hopes of trying to keep my mental space positive. Today, after a good therapy session, I’m reminded to know myself and my limits, to know my strength and compassion, and to know where I’ve been. Don’t assume that I’m not struggling because I don’t constantly talk about it. You are only as sick as your secrets. #eatingdisorderecovery #edrecovery #emotionallydrained

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if anyone tries to tell you that eating an entire blaze pizza with spicy red sauce & basically a ...

Dec 6, 2019

• if anyone tries to tell you that eating an entire blaze pizza with spicy red sauce & basically an entire garden of veggies isn’t the solution to all of your problems, cut them off 😶🙅‍♀️ nobody needs that negativity in their life !! lol i’m obviously joking but on a more serious note, some of you might’ve noticed i’ve been a little less active on here recently. honestly, i’ve just been living my life & not really feeling like posting all the time. so i’ve just been going with it because i never want this account to feel like a chore. that’s when i become less authentic, and it honestly just takes the fun out of instagram. not feeling motivated to post can be frustrating but it can also be a blessing - you can be so much more present away from your phone ✨ obviously i love instagram, but don’t feel guilty for taking time away! social media will always be there, but these opportunities to make memories won’t💗

Diner #brunch with my bestie earlier today! 💕
Scrambled eggs🥚 // avocado 🥑 // hash browns  ...

Dec 6, 2019

Diner #brunch with my bestie earlier today! 💕 Scrambled eggs🥚 // avocado 🥑 // hash browns 🥔 // sourdough toast 🍞 // + chocolate milk 🍫🥛 I haven’t had a chance to make or eat dinner yet. I went to see my psychiatrist today, hit the pharmacy to fill my new prescription 💊 + then went to the grocery store🛒 to get a few basic staples. I’m tapped out for today. 💛 Tell me about YOUR day! #edrecovery #eatingdisorderrecovery #onedayatatime #onemealatatime #healthylife #healthyliving #dobetterbebetter

🌹 Perhaps the saddest thing of all, is that every so often I find solace in the fact that you and ...

Dec 6, 2019

🌹 Perhaps the saddest thing of all, is that every so often I find solace in the fact that you and I exist in the same universe. The fact that you’re alive and breathing, even if it’s somewhere far away, is somehow enough. The hope that you’re doing well somewhere, is enough. -sunflowerletters 🌹

Feel free to interpret as you need 🌙
In romantic, familial, or business relationships.
In your ph ...

Dec 6, 2019

Feel free to interpret as you need 🌙 In romantic, familial, or business relationships. In your physical body, in your spiritual existence. Stop making yourself small to fit in boxes not meant for you. Welcome the growth 🌱

Be extra in a world full of Basic🤪 #goddessMode #YogiGoneWild ...

Dec 6, 2019

Be extra in a world full of Basic🤪 #goddessMode #YogiGoneWild

Day 164: “the frap challenge”: a case study
••••••••••••••••• ...

Dec 6, 2019

Day 164: “the frap challenge”: a case study •••••••••••••••••• Today I walked into a Starbucks. I joked around with my friend across the counter. I ordered without a single thought of calories, restriction, or fear. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• The “frap challenge” has been a HUGE part of my recovery. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• It started out during my residential treatment stay. Each Friday we would all get to leave the treatment center for a few hours and go to the local Starbucks. It started out small, I was too scared to order a single thing. Inspired by my recovery sister, no.retreat_no.surrender , after a few weeks, I was ready to do it: I ordered the scariest thing on the menu… a s’mores frappuccino. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Since then I’ve had one almost every week! I’ve tried the cookie-crumble, the caramel, the mocha, the pumpkin spice, name them all! •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Some have been easier than others. Some have included nothing but smiles. Others, I was struggling to hold back tears. Some I have conquered all alone. Others, I needed the support of recovery sisters, friends, or recovery coaches. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• For almost all of the fraps, my first thought was calories. I was consumed by numbers, old habits, and old memories. I was weighed down by fear. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• These days it is different. When I think of a frappuccino, I don’t think of calories. I don’t want to restrict. Instead, I think of the TONS of positive memories. I think of the people I’ve shared a frap challenge with. Rather than fear, I feel nostalgia and love. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• This process has taken months and countless fraps. To be completely honest, the thoughts aren’t fully gone, but they ARE significantly reduced. The disordered thoughts haven’t been replaced, just shrouded out by the larger, more powerful positive memories. •••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• Frappuccinos don’t taste of fear, they taste of recovery

Amen! This also goes for saying things to your child or children like...
- “This isn’t a restaur ...

Dec 6, 2019

Amen! This also goes for saying things to your child or children like... - “This isn’t a restaurant” -“ Eat this or else” -“You can’t get up until you’re done with your food, we’ll sit here all day” • These phrases and comments instill FEAR in children, not a sense of safety or love! Not helpful! If you want your child to have a healthy relationship with their bodies, food, and even with you, straying away from these types of comments are an amazing gateway to these things. -peace and love, India #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #anorexiarecovery #edrecovery #bulimiarecovery #childadvocacy #children #parenting #love #happiness #health #dietculture #endthestigma

Dear body,
⠀
I’m sorry for being mean to you and shaming you. You are beautiful and I love you.  ...

Dec 6, 2019

Dear body, ⠀ I’m sorry for being mean to you and shaming you. You are beautiful and I love you. Thank you for allowing me to walk and dance and sing and everything else I can do. I’m sorry for punishing you and starving you. I wanted you to live up to the same standards I had grown up to view as “beautiful.” But now I realize that those standards were unattainable and unhealthy. ⠀ I’m sorry for telling you that the only way you’d be more attractive is if you were thinner. You don’t have to be thinner or smaller to be more beautiful. All bodies are beautiful. ⠀ I’m sorry I told you that you weren’t thin enough and that you had to lose more weight even though your bones were visible. I’m sorry for being ashamed of you and wearing baggy clothes to hide you. ⠀ Your weight and your appearance doesn’t define your worth. You’re perfect just the way you are and you deserve just as much love as anyone else. You’re whole and complete and you’re capable. Keep being unapologetically you. ⠀ Love, Veronica ⠀ Comment a “❤️” if you or someone you know is recovering from an eating disorder.

You really don’t. And you DEFINITELY don’t need to start a new disordered behavior under the mas ...

Dec 6, 2019

You really don’t. And you DEFINITELY don’t need to start a new disordered behavior under the mask of a “new diet.” . That’s what it is, too. I have experienced it so many times. I see a new trendy diet pop up and I think to myself “hey maybe that will be good for me!” But it’s not me thinking that - it’s my disorder giving me a new way to carry out my behaviors. It’s a new way to restrict. Cutting out carbs, cutting out fats, cutting out processed food, the list goes on and on and at the end of the day - it’s restrictive in nature. . So no. You don’t need to start a new diet. It won’t solve anything, just like acting on eating disorder thoughts doesn’t solve anything. It will make things worse and it’ll make you MORE focused on food and weight. Diets don’t work. . We’re always searching for that golden ticket to better body image and self love. If you have to maintain restriction, no matter how “extreme” in order to maintain your size, it’s not the size your body wants to be at. If you have to restrain yourself or deny your hunger in order to be a certain size then you 👏🏻 are not meant to be that size 👏🏻👏🏻 . So as the holiday season goes on, and as New Years approaches please try to remember that you don’t need to start a new diet in order to find body peace. You won’t be any happier with yourself at a lower weight if you aren’t happy with yourself now. You don’t need to use disordered behaviors or restrict or purge or binge to get through the holidays. I know it’s really freaking hard not to but it won’t make anything better.

When your client or someone you love says, “I’m fat.” Do you respond with things like:
“No y ...

Dec 6, 2019

When your client or someone you love says, “I’m fat.” Do you respond with things like: “No you aren’t!” “Oh, i’m the one with that problem.” “Oh stop, if you ever are, i’ll tell you!” “Our work together is not meant to make you fat, it’s to help you heal!” Okay, i’m lookin at you! Disclaimer: I believe you have a good heart and I am NOT trying to shame you. However, I have to TRY to get you woke about fat phobia......especially my clinicians, dieticians and doctors out there. One thing all of these comments have in common, is that it is feeding into the ideas that their bodies are what they are actually worried about, and that being fat is a bad thing. We live in a world where we fear fat. We do anything and everything to lose weight and be diet culture’s definition of “healthy”. When someone says, “I feel fat.” Or “I don’t want to be fat.” What I hear is, “I am afraid I am unlovable. I feel vulnerable. I am experiencing discomfort. I feel rejected. I need validation.” We are taught in our culture that if we are “fat” we are second class citizens. The world around us is constantly trying to sell us ways to “fix” this problem. What they aren’t acknowledging? Our relationships with food, our mental health and the REAL issues going on inside. It’s never been about your body. And changing your body won’t fix things. How do I know? I see this every day, and i’ve lived it. SO when your client or someone you love refers to being fat, try this: “It sounds like you may be feeling vulnerable or uncomfortable. Would you like to explore that more?” “As our bodies heal and we go through life they tend to change. Do you think there might be more going on for you?” “I care about you, and it has nothing to do with how you look or your body.” “Your body size does not change our relationship.” “How has your self care been lately? Want to spend some time together?” Notice how I didn’t say to mention their bodies at all? That’s because you don’t have to. We all want love, acceptance and compassion. It’s time we start learning that it’s about so much more than what we are being made to believe. Happy Thursday friends 💓💓

Cali we

Dec 6, 2019

Cali we're coming at you with love and support ☀️❤️🙏🏼 #recoveryboxedworld made it to California, so beautiful and such a strong recovery community here. We are so grateful for all the warriors, supporters, and professionals in Cali. It truly takes a village and you've got it! So here is the RB team sending the Cali community love, strength, and hopefully some joy along the way. We are grateful for all that you do and all that you are! . . . . #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #mentalhealth #eatingdisorder #recovery #prorecovery #mentalhealthawareness #edwarrior #edfamily #realrecovery #recoveryisworthit #cali #edfighter #edsoldier #visitcalifornia #sanfrancisco #la #sandiego #socal #westcoast #hollywood #bayarea #ca #onlyinsf #californialove #calilife #mentalhealthmatters #selflove

Bonus Facts:
You cannot tell anything about a person

Dec 6, 2019

Bonus Facts: You cannot tell anything about a person's health simply by looking at them The BMI equation was created by a mathematician (not a physician) in the 1830s as a tool to describe a population It is an antiquated tool that reduces people to a number ***BESIDES ALL OF THIS*** Even if a person is not healthy, do they not deserve the same rights as everyone else? #intuitiveeating #edrecovery #mythsbusted

Obsessed with #babyYoda , we are.

I hope you’re treating yourself with the kindness you deserve.  ...

Dec 6, 2019

Obsessed with #babyYoda , we are. I hope you’re treating yourself with the kindness you deserve. Art credit : blessingmanifesting

Ohhh my goodness. First time making butternut squash fondue and lemme say it won’t be the last. I  ...

Dec 6, 2019

Ohhh my goodness. First time making butternut squash fondue and lemme say it won’t be the last. I pretty much made the same “cheese” sauce for when I make vegan/dairy free Mac’N’noCheese. Derek’s response to it: “so good, it doesn’t even taste healthy” hahah . Ingredients: Butternut squash Carmelized onions Chilli flakes Coconut milk Nutritional Yeast Coconut oil Salt/paprika/turmeric Bit of maple syrup Apple cider vinegar . #doesnttastehealthy

More leave (idk how and am feeling very guilty and undeserving) but took my lunch (plus unpictured B ...

Dec 6, 2019

More leave (idk how and am feeling very guilty and undeserving) but took my lunch (plus unpictured Breaka) and meeting a friend in the city 😊 #anorexia #anorexiarecovery #anorexianervosa #eatingdisorder #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #realrecovery #mentalillness #food

This is a partnership & little project that I am so proud to be a part of. I struggled with an eatin ...

Dec 6, 2019

This is a partnership & little project that I am so proud to be a part of. I struggled with an eating disorder for a big part of my life & I know firsthand how crippling it is, both mentally and physically. I want to use my experience to help others who are going through what I did, and hopefully prevent them from struggling for as long. The work that The Butterfly Foundation does in this space is SO important. To do my part, I designed these cards which are available to purchase on thebutterflyfoundation’s website & all proceeds will go towards the foundation, to help young people battling with an eating disorder. #EDRecovery #thebutterflyfoundation 🦋🦋

Be yourself there is no one better. ❤❤#curvy #edrecovery #spirituallyhealing #loveyourself #beau ...

Dec 6, 2019

Be yourself there is no one better. ❤❤ #curvy #edrecovery #spirituallyhealing #loveyourself #beautiful #curvygirl #confident

Hi, here’s a rare image of me smiling. 🙂 ...

Dec 6, 2019

Hi, here’s a rare image of me smiling. 🙂

✨🍴 #cultofstitch #forsaleonetsy ...

Dec 6, 2019

✨🍴 #cultofstitch #forsaleonetsy

Late night office time card pull. 
DNA:I am who I am. Karma:It always (and I mean always)circles bac ...

Dec 6, 2019

Late night office time card pull. DNA:I am who I am. Karma:It always (and I mean always)circles back around. 🤗🧬🧬🌀🌀🧬🧬🌀🌀🤗

When I applied for Canadian permanent residency, I had to list all the addresses I

Dec 6, 2019

When I applied for Canadian permanent residency, I had to list all the addresses I've had over the past 10 years. There were 17. Now there are 18.⁠ ⁠ I’m still in Victoria…but moved homes last week. So far, just…ahhhh. My new space is exactly what I was looking for: simple, quiet, newly renovated (read: new everything + everything extra clean)...with big windows, a small balcony, and seagull sounds.⁠ ⁠ It’s a one-bedroom an easy bike or car ride from the downtown harbour area, where I attend daily yoga classes and teach at the Chinese Medicine college.⁠ ⁠ Outfitted with my very few, carefully curated belongings, the space is beautifully minimalist and calming. Think various shades of grey with sky blue + white undertones.⁠ ⁠ Yesterday, I hung a strand of simple, white sparkly lights around the living room window. I also bought a new soy-wax candle and am awaiting an essential oil diffuser. Finally, after far too long, I feel at ease and comfortable in my home again.⁠ ⁠ Is this one forever? Surely not. But right now, I’m loving it. Find a few glimpses on the blog, plus musings on cbd and how I intentionally craft my home space, schedule, and self-care toolkit (link in bio) ⇒ https://alchemisteating.com/blog/moving-as-a-minimalist-self-care-toolkit⁠ ⁠ ⁠ #selfcare #soulcare #yoga #yogi #minimalism #minimalist #victoriabc #homespace #home #simple #simpleliving #simplicity #konmari #mariekondo #lessismore #toolkit #healthychoices #healthyliving #holistic #recovery #edrecovery #anarecovery #mentalhealth #holisticmedicine #chinesemedicine #cbd #simpleliving #holisticliving #manifest #thrive

Good morning ☀️ Today’s breakfast wheat bran pancake with spinach omelette #recover#foodjourna ...

Dec 6, 2019

Good morning ☀️ Today’s breakfast wheat bran pancake with spinach omelette #recover #foodjournal #edrecovery #ana #mia #healthyeating

Here

Dec 6, 2019

Here's my #facetofacefriday 🙊 Photo on the left is me at 12 Years old & the photo on the right is me at 20 years old 😱 Although some days I feel I have not changed at all, these photos say it all & help me to realise just how far I really have come 🌈 I feel like I don't recognise myself in either photo but what I do recognise is the difference in the way in which i feel & think about myself on a daily basis that has positively changed dramatically over the last few years☀️ Be committed to yourself & Don't be afraid of putting in the hard work evolving into a better version of you 💪 #fitmum #fitnessmotivation #fitfam #transformation #facetoface #beforeandafter #weightlossjourney #weightloss #healthylifestyle #changeyourlife #eatingdisorderrecovery #edrecovery #bingeeatingrecovery #flashbackfriday #fattofit #fattofitjourney #stronger #selflove #selflovejourney #dontquit #weightlossmotivation #workhard #proud #persistence #lifestyle #caloriedeficit #weightlosstransformation #commitment #consistency

𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓇𝓉𝓎 𝒻𝑜𝓊𝓇: ‎
『w』『h』『a』『t』 『i』 『a』『t』 ...

Dec 6, 2019

𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓇𝓉𝓎 𝒻𝑜𝓊𝓇: ‎ 『w』『h』『a』『t』 『i』 『a』『t』『e』 『t』『o』『d』『a』『y』‎ //‎ b☕︎: pumpkin pancake {fail} topped w/ blueberries + blackberries + honey + cinnamon raisin swirl bread ‎ ・‎ s☹: nuts ‎ ・‎ l☼: red quinoa + mixed veggies + red cabbage~ my mom gave me a lot of this + it made my stomach hurt :(‎ ・‎ d☔︎: branzino fish + potato hash + veggies~ i rlly LOVE fish :)) ‎ ・ s₂☻: grapes + green tea total= 1,332 ・ ✩❤︎✩ im still getting major migraines for no reason, even after i’ve eaten. i have to get a brain scan soon bc brain and nerve issues run in my family uh oh... ~ i feel bloated + like i might throw up, i just don’t know what i’d rather be, hungry or healthy.... #fearfood #healthylifestyle #healthyfood #health #edrecovery #edwarrior #food #foodphotography #foodie #foodstagram #foodblogger #foodblog #blogger #bloggerstyle #bloggerlife #loveyourself #positivity #bodypositive #weightmanagement #weightmaintenance #weightgain #weightgainmeals #weightgainjourney

🖤TW🖤
Sixteen. An age I never thought I would make it to. Yet here I am: going outside, going t ...

Dec 6, 2019

🖤TW🖤 Sixteen. An age I never thought I would make it to. Yet here I am: going outside, going to my very first concert and eating McDonalds afterwards! BLOODY MCDONALDS! Recovery isn’t linear, I’ll tell you that. But that doesn’t mean you should give up just after one single slip. Or a hundred, for that matter! In the past few months of being out of hospital I’ve been in restraint with the police, been in an ambulance, taken to hospital on many occasions, cried, screamed, shouted, fought, been in a bed that was basically the bed equivalent of a fucking straight jacket and just straight up had vibes that are atroCIOUS. But do you know what I’ve also done? Made lifelong friends, laughed (literally. cacKLED.), seen Melanie Martinez (more on that later 🥴), became sixteen, treated myself, redesigned myself, spoken to strangers, eaten healthy food and fuelled my body (and also had my fair share of junk food, would recommend, delicious), went to a college induction, decided my future and resumed my passion (music!). All of that in a few bloody months. You’re not doing as horrendously as you think, I promise. One good thing can outshine the hundreds of bad and eventually, if you hold onto that one good thing, it’ll multiply into two. Then three. Four, five, six and so-on. You’ll find a passion, your niche and within that you’ll find a community of people who share that same interest. Then within that you’ll find friends, your own little made up family. You’ll find your place in this world. But for now? Hold onto that one good thing until you get there. Your happiness will come, you’re here for a reason, I promise you. 🖤 #recovery #love #peace #loveislove #edrecovery #recovering #endthestigma #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #mentalillness #eatingdisorderrecovery #foodisfuel #iamnot1in5

𝐈𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧 ...

Dec 6, 2019

𝐈𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧. I’m learning so much more than healthy eating and fitness from this wellness group I had the blessing to find. I’m learning personal development. I have encouragement and support every single day. I’m so happy and blessed to be a part of this. 💕

Missing my short-lived Miami adventure and all the other pastry chefs that attended @carolinamolea o ...

Dec 6, 2019

Missing my short-lived Miami adventure and all the other pastry chefs that attended carolinamolea of lartisanebakery Vegan Modern Pastry class. Everything tasted amazing and my mind was blown. Although my concussion got the best of me and I thought I was further along my recovery, I'm super grateful for the experience, connections, and new techniques that were taught. Thanks Carolina! #Vegan #Modernpastry #Pastry #VeganPastry #Miami #Veganmiami #ChefLife #VeganDesserts #Culinary #VeganFoodShare #Foodshare #LaArtisaneBakery #EDRecovery

You don

Dec 6, 2019

You don't need to constantly "fix" yourself to reach your weight, body, or health goals!⁠ .⁠ Recently I found myself getting back into my old habit of always trying to "fix" something - as if right now I don't have what it takes to get to where I want to be.⁠ .⁠ We as women tend to be so hard on ourselves when we want to reach a certain goal that we become obsessed with the "fixing" that we need to do.⁠ .⁠ I'm all for self-improvement but this goes beyond that - this is about you always finding something that's wrong with you and thinking that you can't lose the weight, train for that race, or buy that bikini until you've fixed certain *problem* parts of yourself.⁠ .⁠ As I reminded myself this week - you are ENOUGH as you are right now. When you think you constantly have to fix yourself, you're actually CHOOSING not to love yourself (trust me I know that sucks to hear).⁠ .⁠ But the good news is that it CAN change. Getting to the reason why you think you're inherently "broken" or need fixing is EXACTLY the thing that will break you out of this cycle.⁠ .⁠ My clients suffered from all kinds of unhealthy eating habits. But after working with me, they feel amazingly confident and LOVE their bodies (and of course themselves).⁠ .⁠ Do you want to end the war with the negativity and food obsession? Book a free holistic health consultation through the link in my bio if you want the same results ❤️ #dailysmilebykristin . . . . . #pcoswarrior #pcosdiet #pcosweightloss #pcos #pcosawareness #pcossupport #hormonalbalance #hormonalimbalance #hormonalacne #paleobreakfast #hairlosssolution #periodproblems #hypothalamicamenorrhea #edrecovery #orthorexia #infertility #guthealthy #holistichealing #healthyfoodrecipes #healthyfoodchoice #paleorecipes #paleolifestyle #naturalsolutions #womenswellness #sweetpotatoes #ketomeals #periodpositive #denversbest

*graduation photo* 🤓 A couple of weeks ago, I finished a 100 day journey with a few of my favorit ...

Dec 6, 2019

*graduation photo* 🤓 A couple of weeks ago, I finished a 100 day journey with a few of my favorite women! For 100 days we pushed our bodies and our minds. We laughed a lot, sweat a lot, cried some...not a lot, thank goodness. The best thing is watching these women evaluate their lives, their priorities...watching them become more disciplined and extending the same grace to themselves that they would to others. Oh my heart. And seeing that light beginning to flicker in someone’s eye that’s been missing for far too long 😭That is what it’s all about. #mm100 #100daystobrave #womenempoweringwomen #livewell #lovehard #pushthrough #mindsetmatters #youmatter #foodisfuel #edrecovery #strongmoms #coachlife #fitnessfaithfood

I’ve had a lot of shit on my mind recently.. been thinking about this decade coming to an end & wh ...

Dec 6, 2019

I’ve had a lot of shit on my mind recently.. been thinking about this decade coming to an end & what I want to focus on & conquer in the next. I can’t help but feel like this is an exit phase for all of us.. I’m ready to let go & release everything that has brought me pain these past 10 years & I encourage you to do the same. If you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people that didn’t cut you. Remember that.

Today was my first day of day program, which is 12 weeks in total. I was really worried about starti ...

Dec 6, 2019

Today was my first day of day program, which is 12 weeks in total. I was really worried about starting it as I wasn't sure if I could relate to a lot of the therapy since my ED is anxiety based and not body image based, but it was actually great! The other people are nice, the nurses are nice, the program was good, and I'm feeling hopeful. Eating was really hard at breakfast but it always is. I got through it though and that's what matters 💪🏻I'm supposed to be in inpatient for just over another week but I'm going to see if it's possible to cut that a little shorter as I really miss my home, roommates, cats, girlfriend, and weed haha. This is definitely the longest tolerance break I've had in a while. But at the end of the day I'll do what's best for me health. Two bonuses of being here: I'm getting tested for ASD and getting my bone density checked for free! #arfid #arfidrecovery #edrecovery #ed #dayhospital #dayprogram #recovery #hopeful

Almond oatflakes and blueberries + almond milk + dark choc
Asian pear + english muffin + protein bar ...

Dec 6, 2019

Almond oatflakes and blueberries + almond milk + dark choc Asian pear + english muffin + protein bar Chacker + BANANA (!!!) peas mushroom in sweet and sour sauce + tofu + yogurt 2 kitkat + 2 bounty mini . BANANA FOR SNACK BANANA FOR SNACK BANANA FOR SNACK! Bananas are a HUGE fear, still to this day. Worst than bread or chocolate or else, this snack is a huge #recoverywin Also today I've not been hungry to the slightest. Not at all not once. I hate it bc it means forcing the food without hunger and my ed is thinking it's a waste and I could just not eat. However, the fact that I wasn't hungry made me mindlessly eat and might be the reason that enabled me to eat this banana. So overall, I think it's good, i focused on other things than eating, was 100% attentive at uni and stuff . #edrecovery #edwarroir #eatingdisorderrecovery #healthy #tca #bulimia #anorexia #bulimiarecovery #vegetarian #healthy #healthyfood #anorexiarecovery #anarecovery #vegan #breakfast #cereal #fdoe #fooddiary #cookie

I had recently learned that this little design was the National Eating Disorder Association

Dec 6, 2019

I had recently learned that this little design was the National Eating Disorder Association's symbol for recovery. I have never felt so strongly to get this tattooed, not even with my own design of my favorite things. I wanted it in white ink so it's subtle and will look almost like a scar, since that is what an eating disorder leaves on your soul. It will serve as a reminder of the importance of recovery. Something that's been slipping my mind as of late. So enjoy my first tattoo! #Neda #nedatattoo #EDrecovery #recovery #whiteinktattoo

Hello friends!! How was your day? Mine was fine😊 I spent the afternoon buying Christmas presents  ...

Dec 6, 2019

Hello friends!! How was your day? Mine was fine😊 I spent the afternoon buying Christmas presents with mum🎄🎁 We had a quick lunch at Starbucks and I ordered a croque monseur🥪 which was delish😋 and an orange juice🍊 And for dinner we had pizza! It was quite scary as it was super thick and loaded with cheese and oil😨 But I really enjoyed it no matter what and managed to eat two slices and a half!🍕🧀 The flavours were four cheese and primavera (ham, egg, cheese, bell pepper and tomato) I hope you all have a great day! Keep fighting lovelies♥️ — #edrecovery #recovery #recovering #anarecoverymeals #anarecovery #anarecovering #anorexiarecover #anorexianervosarecovery #allin #anorexiarecovery #fighting #fightingana #fightinganorexia #unrestrictedeating #yummy #eatittobeatit #eatwhatyoucrave #battlinganorexia #battlingana

We back and we bad 🤓
(I’ll be listening to this album on repeat for another month probably) 
It ...

Dec 6, 2019

We back and we bad 🤓 (I’ll be listening to this album on repeat for another month probably) It takes planning to build a solid workout plan... one that will challenge you, and promote continuous progress. Generic “beach body” workout programs may be great for a beginner, but your body will eventually adapt and plateau. Progressive overload, constant altering of stress, is the only way to continue making advances in the gym. And everyone is different. Hence why you need a program that’s customized to you and your body. Overall, here’s how I structure my lifts generally: The Bread: 🍞 A little bit of cardio to get my body warm Priming (preparing a particular muscle group for use by doing plyometric movements) IE: bodyweight jump squats before I squat.. not crazy reps/ sets till I feel fatigue.. just enough to activate. The Meat: 🥩 Compound movements. Anything that will require multiple muscle groups at once. (Deadlifts, squats, leg press, lunges) The Bread: 🍞 Accessory Work (think bands, cables, isolated exercises) (My recording skills are great I know 🤮)

I am not a size xs and work in health & nutrition😳
.
Full stop🛑
.
There was a time on this jou ...

Dec 6, 2019

I am not a size xs and work in health & nutrition😳 . Full stop🛑 . There was a time on this journey that I hid. I hid under this veil of who am I to help others. What do I know. Full imposter syndrome🤦🏻‍♀️ . . LOTS of business coaching and energy work later, I lit that belief on fire. Literally🔥 I was at ceremony run by the the most beautiful soul purplereikigirl I released the idea that I wasn’t good enough. I released the care of what others think. I fully engulfed allowing myself to be seen by others. To share my voice. My story. Me. . . Around a year ago, I did my first FB live. Seems simple right? I was TERRIFIED! My coach amyallchurch had given me the nice push that I needed to do this. And so it was. . . Since then I have done events, public speaking, lives, videos, IGTV, author in an upcoming book, about to record a podcast….it keeps coming and I am allowing the flow💫 . . Ok Karri…what does this actually have to do with health? It has EVERYTHING to do with health. . 👉🏻YOU ARE NOT JUST A BODY 👉🏻HEALTH IS NOT A SIZE
👉🏻BEAUTY IS NOT A SIZE . . You do not need to hide. Your body. Your face. Your soul. We are changing the script on what health means. What beauty is. Ditching the expectations of perfection. . . If you have hesitated with reaching out because of fear of judgement…you are welcome here. Always. With no judgement and an open heart. Trust me, nothing fills up my cup more than empowering others. . . Do not let fear stand in the way of making any changes in your life. I want to help you fall in love with your life. Let me help you love that woman inside. She is ready for you to come home. . . 📸 natalierosephotographer #beautyisnotasize #bopo #body #bodyempowerment #health #rhn #glowup #glowfromwithin #edrecovery #nourishnotpunish #nourished #healthisnotasize #nutritionist #rebalancelondon #holistichealth #humandesign #beseen #beheard #presentnotperfect #ldnont #bodyacceptance #bodypositivity #allbodiesaregoodbodies

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